Conflict with a Colleague

How to navigate professional disagreements, difficult working relationships, and situations where a colleague's conduct raises genuine concerns — without making things worse.

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| Audience | Paras navigating interpersonal workplace challenges; supervising teachers who support paras in conflict situations. |

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| Why This Matters |

| Workplace conflict in special education is not unusual — the work is high-stakes, physically and emotionally demanding, and involves close collaboration with people who may have very different approaches. Most conflict is manageable if addressed early and directly. Some situations require formal escalation. Knowing the difference — and having a framework for both — is a professional skill every para needs. |

The Spectrum of Colleague Conflict

Not all workplace tension is the same. The appropriate response depends on the nature of the concern:

Stylistic differences: You and a colleague have different approaches to a student — one is more structured, the other more flexible. This is normal and often healthy. It becomes a problem only when it creates inconsistency the student experiences as confusing.

Communication breakdown: Information is not being shared, directions are unclear, or one party feels ignored or dismissed. This is usually fixable with a direct conversation.

Professional conduct concerns: A colleague behaves in a way that is unprofessional but not harmful — chronic tardiness, complaining in front of students, dismissive attitude toward the para's role.

Student welfare concerns: A colleague's conduct affects the safety, dignity, or wellbeing of a student. This requires a different level of response than interpersonal friction.

The threshold for formal reporting is lower when students are involved. A colleague you personally find difficult is a workplace problem. A colleague who demeans a student, skips safety protocols, or uses inappropriate physical contact is a student welfare problem — and the para has a professional and legal obligation to address it.

Addressing Conflict Directly

Most workplace conflict is best addressed with a direct, private conversation before it becomes a pattern or escalates to formal channels. Key principles:

Choose the right moment: not in front of students, not immediately after an incident when emotions are high, not in a group setting. Ask for a brief private conversation.

Describe behavior, not character: 'When you redirect my student without checking with me first, it creates confusion for her' rather than 'You always undermine me.'

Be specific: 'Yesterday during transition, you...' is more productive than 'You always...' or 'You never...'

Focus on the student: Framing the concern around the student's needs depersonalizes the conversation. 'For consistency, I think we need to decide together on how we handle refusals' is easier to hear than 'I do not like how you handle refusals.'

Listen: The other person may have information or a perspective that changes your view of the situation.

When Direct Conversation Does Not Work

If a direct conversation does not resolve the issue — or if the colleague's response is defensive, dismissive, or escalating — the next step is to involve the supervising teacher or a coordinator. This is not tattling; it is appropriate professional escalation.

When bringing a concern to a supervisor:

Be factual: describe specific incidents with dates and observable details, not a general complaint.

Be clear about what you are asking for: information, guidance, mediation, or formal review.

Document: keep a brief written record of incidents and conversations, including dates and who was present.

When the Concern Involves Student Welfare

If a colleague's conduct raises genuine concern about a student's safety or dignity — physical restraint that seems excessive, verbal interactions that demean or frighten a student, consistent neglect of a student's medical or safety needs — the response is different:

Do not look away and hope it improves. Student welfare concerns that are not reported allow harm to continue.

Report to the supervising teacher or special education coordinator immediately. If the concern involves the supervising teacher, go to the building principal or special education director.

Document what you observed using specific, objective language: time, location, behavior, student response.

Know your district's mandatory reporting procedures. Some situations (suspected abuse or neglect) trigger mandatory reporting obligations that exist regardless of who the perpetrator is.

Protecting Yourself

Paras who raise legitimate concerns sometimes face retaliation — being left out of communication, given less desirable assignments, or receiving critical feedback that was not present before the concern was raised. If you believe you are experiencing retaliation for raising a concern in good faith:

Document the change in treatment with dates and specifics.

Speak with the special education coordinator or your union representative if you have one.

Know that retaliation for good-faith reporting of student welfare concerns is prohibited under federal and most state laws.

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| ✅ Try this | ⚠️ Watch out for |

| Address stylistic and communication conflicts directly and early — most resolve with a clear, private conversation. For student welfare concerns, report promptly and document specifically. In all cases, keep the student's best interest as the organizing principle. | Let conflict fester without addressing it, complain to other staff rather than the person involved, or dismiss a student welfare concern as a personality clash. The longer conflict goes unaddressed, the harder it becomes to resolve — and the more students experience its effects. |

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| Bottom line | Professional conflict is manageable when addressed directly, specifically, and early. Student welfare concerns require a higher threshold of response regardless of the interpersonal dynamics. In both cases, the question to ask is: what does the student need, and am I acting in a way that serves that? |

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